Thank you to those who have reached out to check on me.
I am fine.
Fine as in the kind of fine you are when you’re married to an alcoholic.
I want to leave.
I need to leave.
I make small steps toward leaving.
And yet…
I seem to always backslide.
I seem to always be fooled by his momentary niceness.
But I’m not fooled.
I’m not.
But still somehow he weakens my resolve.
It’s not easy breaking up a family.
Even one that is already broken.
This is what leaving you alcoholic husband looks like, I guess.
Two steps forward.
One step back.
How do you gain your focus?
How do you maintain your commitment?
QuietRagingWaters 
This is the same situation and problem I am having. I think being married to an alcoholic is so exhausting in every aspect that just trying to stay afloat is all you can do sometimes. As long as you are making progress, no matter how small, it is a good thing. Stay with it and soon you’ll be on the other side of the chaos.
LikeLike
Yes and I think the progess can seem so small and slow that we fail to see how far we’ve come even before our journey is complete. I have more of a sense of calm – not complete calm or peace but more – than I did just a year or two ago.
LikeLike
I pray that you and lost1981 are both okay. You will get out someday. It’s hard to leave and even then it’s hard. I got out of the house but am still trapped in the marriage. Someday I will be totally free but am bound because of my children. But no official divorce means no official visitation and I’m okay with that for now.
Thinking of you.
LikeLike