As I become more and more invested in my journey out, I feel myself becoming even more critical of my (to-be-ex)husband’s behavior – both past and present. I don’t want to be critical of him. I don’t want to evaluate his behavior, think of how he has and does treat me. The whole point of leaving is to purge all that from my life and soul.
So why now?
Now that I am resolved and determined, why do I feel a new anger and resentment toward him.
I don’t know really but I can’t let myself hate him.
I can’t let myself spiral down into those thoughts.
If you read anything (and I read “everything”) about the metaphysical, you’ll know that the energy you put out into the Universe is the energy you get back. We have to be careful of our thoughts. We have to keep useless, negative emotions in check.
I know that.
I want to put all the resentment behind me.
Not for him, obviously.
So I have to try hard…
Not to hate him.
For his selfishness.
His verbal abuse.
His cruel coldness.
It’s the only way out.