Now that I have made the decision, my head is spinning, racing, darting back and forth like a rabbit being chased by a fox.

I need to make money.

I need to clean out the house.

I need to stop yelling at the kids.

I need to meditate.

I need to make money.

I need time for me.

I need to establish a morning routine.

I need to work out.

I need to make money.

I need to make money.

I need to….

MAKE MONEY.

And with each one of these thoughts, comes an equally spastic actions.

I’ll work on my art.

I need to clean out the basement.

I’ll take a bath.

I need to clean the kitchen.

I’ll set up an Etsy shop.

I need to do the laundry.

I’ll meditate.

I need to change the sheets on the beds.

It’s no surprise that by the time I lay down at night (often far too late. Around 2 am!!) I feel exhausted as the sun sets on another day of futility.

When you are married to an alcoholic, you have very little support in the daily matters of living. And so you do establish a routine but it’s often a routine of chaos. It’s like I have a hundred little fires burning in my house and I do just enough so that none of them turn into angry flames lashing at my life.

And so I’ve decided I need to let some of the fires burn. Trust they won’t burn down my house while I focus on three areas of my life:

Spiritual.

Physical.

Financial.

Of these three, the two most important are the physical and spiritual!! We all think we need money to make our lives better and complete and whole but the truth is, if you address the spiritual and the physical needs of your life, the money will come. It’s like planting a garden. The money is the plants. If you tend the soil (physical) and nuture the seedlings (spiritual) the plants (money) can’t help but grow!