Watching other couples and families live their lives.

Pursue their dreams, plan their futures, achieve their goals.

My neighbors just bought their new-dream house.

A friend is planning a European vacation with her husband and three kids for next summer.

My ex-boyfriend is teaching his kids to ski and love the outdoors.

We, we exist.

Sure, we have some sports activities here and there. But mostly we all just co-exist in our house and life.

Could I save myself for my dream house?

Plan my own future?

Take my kids outdoors myself?

Of course I can.

Of!

Course!

But I didn’t really sign up for single-mom-but-not-really-single-mom when I got married.

I didn’t sign up for lonely nights, solitary parenting and living by myself with him.

Honestly it’d be easier to be a single mom.

At least I wouldn’t be living in the ILLUSION of having a partner.