Watching other couples and families live their lives.
Pursue their dreams, plan their futures, achieve their goals.
My neighbors just bought their new-dream house.
A friend is planning a European vacation with her husband and three kids for next summer.
My ex-boyfriend is teaching his kids to ski and love the outdoors.
We, we exist.
Sure, we have some sports activities here and there. But mostly we all just co-exist in our house and life.
Could I save myself for my dream house?
Plan my own future?
Take my kids outdoors myself?
Of course I can.
But I didn’t really sign up for single-mom-but-not-really-single-mom when I got married.
I didn’t sign up for lonely nights, solitary parenting and living by myself with him.
Honestly it’d be easier to be a single mom.
At least I wouldn’t be living in the ILLUSION of having a partner.