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alcoholic father, alcoholic husband, david cassidey interview, david cassidy alcoholic, how to live with an alcoholic, seventies teen idols, you and your alcoholic husband
If you’re too young to know who David Cassidy is (“was”) he was a teen heartthrob from the 70’s and the frontman for the group “The Partridge Family.”
At the time of this interview, he was a recoverying alcoholic. I don’t know if he still is though if I was going to place my bet based on this interview, I’d say he did not stay sober.
The first 15 minutes or so are interesting enough but it’s around the 16 minute mark when he begins to talk about his marriage, getting divorce and the affects of his alcoholism on the marriage. Apparently as far as the divorce was concerned, all was well and amicable in the proceedings until his wife saw a picture of him with his new girlfriend. Then that old bitch of an ex-wife-to-be just couldn’t handle it and got all vindictive. And he’s really hurt by it. And he tried “reaching out to her” but she won’t speak to him. Oh David, how could she be so petty and cruel?
Hey, I know, maybe…
Maybe she was gritting her teeth and biting her tongue just to get through the divorce “amicably.” Maybe she was trying to put 25 years of being married to an alcoholic behind her just for the sake of getting the divorce over with. Maybe she was trying to move forward and not hold onto all the pain and hurt you caused her.
Maybe she saw a picture of you and your new girlfriend and said to herself,
WHAT THE LIVING FUDGE!!
I DEALT WITH HIS S*T FOR 25 YEARS AND NOW HE THINKS HE’S TAKING HALF OUR ASSETS TO SET HIMSELF UP WITH A NEW LITTLE LIFE?
Maybe it was something like that David.
At the 20:23 mark, Pierce asks him what would he say to his (ex) wife if she were to be watching.
Oh!
My!
God!
I’m surprised my computer is still in one piece.
Typcial (T-Y-P-I-C-A-L!!!) alcoholic non-apology apology.
He said he would say he is “sorry” “if” he hurt her.
Oh wait, he says yes he did hurt her and he’s sorry BUT…
But he “just” wants her to be fair and if she has a problem with him having a girlfriend, well he’s sorry for that but…
And then he SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS!
He goes onto say he hopes she considers their 25 years together and all he did for her, their family and her family!
What he DID for HER FAMILY!
Straight out of the alcoholic’s playbook!
“You can’t be completely mad at me because look what I did FOR you!”
I supported you or gave your mom money or paid for your brother’s college or whatever!
I don’t care if he set her and 250 members of her extended-extended family up in tiki bungaloos in Tahiti for six months!! Here’s what alcoholics – and even recoverying ones apparently – DON’T! GET!!
EVENTUALLY THERE IS NOTHING (AND I MEAN NOTHING!!)THE ALCOHOLIC CAN DO TO “MAKE UP” FOR HIS BEHAVIOR AS AN ALCOHOLIC!
There is not enough money, enough trips, enough designer handbags, diamond bracelets, sweet surpises, ENOUGH OF ANYTHING!! to “make up” for the alcoholic’s behavior and the pain he inflicts!
The only way to “make up” for it is to apologize.
Not as an alcoholic apoligizes but as someone who is sincerely taking ownership of their actions apologizes. The day I hear an alcoholic say something like this:
I’m sorry. I have hurt you beyond what I know I can fully comprehend. I will spend the rest of my life working for your forgiveness. Whatever you need from me in order to heal from me, I will give you.
Is the day I trust I am speaking to a truly recoverying alcoholic.
At the 24:33 mark he does say his greatest regret is that his son no longer trusts him “but…” “he’s been living with his mother…” so Cassidy is sure that has influenced him “some.”
Yes David Cassidy, that’s it. Again, that mean old vindictive bitch-of-an-ex-wife-to-be has victimized you. Your son’s feelings and mistrust of you has nothing to do with what life was like growing up with an alcoholic father. That couldn’t possibly be it. No, it’s his mother’s “influence” that is causing him to shut you out.
Sadly to me David Cassidy sounds like a non-recoverying-recoverying alcoholic. He apologizes and acknowledges things but always with a caveat.
The “yeah but” of alcoholics everywhere.
I had the same reaction. Making the ex look crazy but doesn’t own up to the fact that he put her through hell. His son too. Also irritated by his talking about how great a person he is … all he has done for people – like he’s reading his resume. Seems like he has no clue that his alcoholism affects other people. Yes he’s sick but I don’t think he sees that.
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Please keep posting…sometimes its amazing how much your posts “hit home” and realizing others are struggling in similar situations somehow helps me feel better but also my sincere hope is that we can in the end make changes to be happier and more at peace…it sometimes painful to hear the truth through your posts but I know in the end, only by facing these truths can we actually get the strength to make changes on our own.
Keep it up! Your posts matter. Hope you are doing well…
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focusing on self care lately…but also, nothing ever changes with him so I realize that I am the only one I can control, I need to change to take better care of me. When young children are involved I know it’s different, but as the adult we also need to realize the costs to staying are there…I stayed…and I am still here, and my children are 20 and 23. The 20 year old is going to college and doing pretty well but the 23 year old is not developmentally doing so well – stuck in her fears/anxiety and narrative that she struggles with…I am still trying to do my part to help her. Not easy being between the high functioning alcoholic and this 23 year old that has the maturity of a 16 year old… I struggle..because I can’t fix them, they need to fix themselves…I try but realize maybe I am enabling both of them by staying…. working on me.
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Strengthwithin- I struggle with the same things. I have found an online private group that has been helpful in getting the focus off of my alcoholic and adult child and onto myself. A group of people that have similar struggles and “get it.” It’s good for support for sure. Unlike my friends at work … just not the same. Let me know if you want me to send you the link for this group.
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I would like that link. Thank you. Hopefully you’ll see my response
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Hi Strengthwithin- I get notified if there’s any follow up comments on anything I’ve posted so I’m glad I saw this!! There ya a group on Facebook called CAAFS – it’s s closed group so nobody can see posts except members. There are a few others not I like this one as it is very private and I have learned quite a bit about taking better care of myself and stop focusing on my alcoholic so much. I felt like o was losing myself!! It has been very helpful for me and many others. Lots of good info. I lurked for quite a while – good reading! Hope that helps! ❤️
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And so it came to pass … gets them all eventually
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