First things first, yes I went to CrossFit today. I was very nervous about it last night and actually woke up this morning with a headache behind my eye.
For me that headache pattern is ALWAYS a stress headache.
But ironically I wasn’t nervous about it being hard. (I knew it would be.)
I wasn’t nervous about working out in front of “strangers.” (Too old for that and well, I am out of shape. No denying that.)
I wasn’t nervous about anything related to my ability or my appearance or the effort I would have to make.
I was (am!) nervous about following through on my committment.
I have been significanlty overweight (50 pounds) and out of shape for quite some time now (ten years). And, like the majority of us in this situation, each new year, new summer, new birthday, etc., etc., etc. has me vowing and swearing,
I’ve had ten years of “this times” that never were.
And I just know – I can feel it – that if this time isn’t THE TIME then there never will be A TIME that I acheive my fitness goals.
(With pressure like that, I’m surprised my entire head wasn’t throbbing!)
So a lot (A LOT!) is riding on this CrossFit endeavor of mine.
Fair to do to CrossFit and myself?
I think so.
I mean sooner or later you have to tell it like it is – even if that means telling it to your own self.
But this year isn’t just about getting in shape. I have other comfort zones (aka stagnant areas of my life) that I need to confront.
One of them is my blogging and writing efforts.
To be a writer is to live forever in a sort of literary battle with yourself.
You want to write.
You can write.
You can’t write. (“That was shit!”)
You will write.
You do write.
You won’t write.
You love to write.
You hate to write.
You have to write.
If you could see the mental ruminations of a writer, it would probably make the typical inner dialogue about whether or not to go to the gym look like a child’s game of hopscotch.
So while I’m still high on CrossFit endorphins, I am going to challenge myself to up my blogging game. I think I need to add some pretty pictures. Maybe some video.
And every “this is how you blog big” guru worth his weight in blogging ads says you have to (HAVE! TO!) guest blog! For whom I will guest blog – and what I will write – I have no idea.
But if I can do a million* “burpees” and three kazillion* squats, I think I can manage to do a guest post somewhere.
*give or take a few hundred thousand…