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is it your fault if they drown?

I tried talking to my husband today about our marriage.

He said, to paraphrase, he’s tired of walking on egg shells around me; I am always angry and mad; nothing he does makes me happy; I am the unhappiest person he has ever met and…

Wait for it…

He doesn’t know how much more of our marriage he can take.

I looked around, half expecting to see Alice in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter popping out of the closet.

It’s insane.

It’s crazy.

It’s mindboggling.

And dangerous.

Do you know I have – and did – actually stop and think,

“Could his perception be the accurate one?”

Look, life is all about perception.

For even the healthiest of adults and relationships.

But some perceptions just have to be more accurate than others, don’t they?

In the alcoholic marriage, who is the problem?


Well, it can become that you both are.

I am angry.

I am unhappy though only with and around him.

He does piss me off with just about everything he does.

(And by “everything” he does, I mean the NOTHING that he does.)

But this is how I see it, the alcoholic spouse “starts” it.

How do you not become angry and moody and unhappy when you are called a fucking bitch, told to shut the fuck up and emotionally ignored and by passed by the one person who is suppose to be with you through it all?

The alcoholic starts it.

But it’s up to you and me to end it.

That is, we have to save ourselves, even if it means leaving our husbands behind to drown.

It’s not an easy choice.

Not in the least.

But you can’t make someone swim.

And you can’t make someone save their marriage or themselves.