As the season draws to its conclusion, it seems that as the wife of an alcoholic, I have contradictory emotions.
I love the Christmas/holiday season.
And yet it is some of the worst times for those of us in an alcoholic marriage.
And so while saying good-bye to yet another Christmas and another year is a little bitter, saying good bye to the ramped-up alcoholic behavior is sweet.
I hope you have a gentle night and a joyful day tomorrow.
Through it all, I still believe…
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Merry Christmas to you and all the “alcoholic wife sisters”. Hoping you can find some peace this evening. Holidays are pretty tough for the families of alcoholics. Same as weekends… vacations… evenings… I am in a pretty good frame of mind this holiday. I was irritated going into the weekend knowing full well that my AH would be drunk until Tuesday when he goes back to work. So predictable. But I decided to go with the flow – keep my distance and try to enjoy. He is passed out as I am writing this and I really don’t care. I had a nice evening with the kids (they are 24&26 so they’re mostly doing their own thing but we spent time together while he slept. Tomorrow we are supposed to visit with his mother and sisters. I may end up going alone if he’s drunk or feeling sick. I don’t care about that either. May be nice to enjoy a nice quiet drive, short visit and come back and do what I want to do. Looking forward to a new year. Time to focus on me and stop focusing on my alcoholic husband. Time to take charge of my physical and emotional health. Here’s to a fabulous 2017!
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Merry Christmas! Well after my feeling a bit cocky last night – I was feeling like – hey he’s an alcoholic, so what? I can enjoy my holiday anyway. I got this!
Slept well all by myself upstairs (how nice! ) came downstairs and had my coffee. I looked at him passed out on the couch and didn’t really get bothered.
Once he was awake though I’m not sure what happened to me- we got to talking and I just felt irritable, restless, resentful and angry.
I feel like I am fine going about my daily life if I don’t interact with him. But as soon as I have to deal with him or talk to him I feel unhappy and crazy.
Anyone else feel this way?
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I really and truly love my life. I do. I have amazing friends, amazing children and an amazing job. I just wish he wasn’t part of it. I LOVE this time of year. But yes Daydreamer, as you said, once you get around “them” these other feelings come out. That “interaction” changes everything about our day/life.
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