My Friday night has gone something like this:
3:30 – 4:00 pm – All the kids start getting home from school.
4:00 – 6:00 pm – Feed kids, carpool kids, get other people’s kids, feed some more kids, clean up from feeding kids, etc.
6:00 – 9:00 pm – Get kids to their various activities, plans, events.
9:00 – 11:00 Finish cleaning up kitchen (because you don’t think I actually finish that all at once, do you?), start cleaning and straightening house in anticipation of Christmas decorating this week-end.
11:00 – Escape physically to my little “lair” (a closet I turned into an office/studio), escape mentally and emotionally on FaceBook, YouTube, etc.
11:30 – Make rare and unusual effort to try to watch television and “chit chat” with my husband.
11:35 pm – Give up and decide to write blog post on how lonely marriage to an alcoholic is.
Now his night:
5:00 – 6:00 pm – Arrive home from work. Take a nap.
6:00 – 6:30 pm – Get up for dinner.
6:30 – 11:30 pm Retreat to family room, turn on television.
11:30 pm: Endure 5 minutes of wife trying to watch tv and talk with him.
11:35 pm: Return to watching television uninterrupted.
I very much relate to this post, though my kids are older and some things have changed…what doesn’t is this routine sadly. I do not want to be “endured” or “tolerated”…. I want to be loved and accepted and that is not to much to ask from any marriage partner. This is where we need to focus…what kind of relationship do we want to be in and what our our boundaries? Personally, I would never want this for my own child to have a relationship where he or she felt this way…so then why do I stay and live this way. Our running theme in our life should not be disappointment, resentment, and loneliness or feeling endured or tolerated. NO WAY, NO HOW. We must snap out of this. Our life is precious, we only have one. We deserve way more than this!
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