My husband was nice this week end.

He took care of some things for me.

Did things that needed to be done, that I asked him to do.

Ran to the store for dog food.

You know all the kinds of things wives in healthy marriages don’t really notice.

If he read this, he would say “I can’t please you.”

And the truth is, he probably can’t.

Perhaps no one fails to understand to the degree the alcoholic fails to understand the long term effects of his behavior.

There is so much toxicity over such a long time that eventually nice gestures or pleasant evenings run off you like water trying to fill an already full bucket.

It’s like your emotional bucket is so full of crap, there’s no room for any warm or pleasant feelings.

Valerie Bertinelli was married to Eddie Van Halen for 20 years.

He was an alcoholic, she abused drugs, for the majority of their marriage.

She said in an interview she “waited” so long to have a child because she didn’t want to bring a child into that environment.

Do you know when they divorced?

After they both got clean and sober.

Alcoholism causes damage.

A lot.

That is rarely fixed simply by way of some nice gestures.

Or even clean living.