Before you admit to yourself, you really have nothing? (In your marriage/relationship).
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How Long Does It Take…
10 Monday Oct 2016
Posted in Uncategorized
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You are so right…how long does it take? Since 2007 I have faced the harsh reality that I am married to a high functioning alcoholic. I can’t believe it is 2016 and I am still debating and questioning if I should leave or stay. I have learned to repress my disappointment, my needs for so long I do not have a “healthy compass”. Your book arrived in the mail yesterday and upon coming home from work I quickly took it out and tucked it away so he wouldn’t see it…this morning I’m doing home stuff and googling alcohol’s damage on the brain thinking I will print out a copy and leave it in the bathroom he normally uses…yet, I stopped myself knowing I’ve done that before and it won’t make a difference. I’m currently playing telephone take with a counselor my nurse practitioner recommended hoping that I will get over my cynical attitude and get some wisdom from a counselor on how to approach – and while typing this he just called and I have an appointment now early next week! He asked me my reason for seeking counseling, and I summarized my long standing challenges in my marriage living with a high functioning alcoholic, my drive to go back to school to become an RN “strategic exit” years ago and how all this started originally in 2007…seeking help to face realities and make some positive changes either with or without my husband. Sigh. I hung up. Tears slowly flow.
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oops can you delete that post I logged in with the wrong email, thanks….I’m strengthwithin
I’m going to go get your book and read it now. and maybe I will just post that lengthy comment on my own wordpress 🙂 thanks.
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In my experience- too long. You just keep going along year after year. You’re so busy taking care of everything in life that you don’t realize how much time has gone by. Maybe naively thinking it will get better. Then when you finally do realize that you don’t really have a relationship anymore – it feels like it’s too late. Too old. Too tired. Almost too apathetic to do anything about it. Before you know it- your relationship may change to caretaker and spouse who is now ill. I know it’s never too late to start living again – I just wished I’d have figured this all out sooner.
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I turn 49 this year. I don’t want to waste anymore time. But how do you turn your kids lives upside down? I keep telling myself just hang on til they get out of high school. But then….what are they really being exposed to by me staying.
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