As it turns out, I’m not much of a blogger.
Writer yes but blogger no.
This blogging thing is harder than it looks.
As well as the “unique” sort of alcoholic my husband is.
He does not supply me with “material” everyday from which to draw inspiration for my writing from.
I suppose in many ways I am “lucky.”
My husband is not physically abusive.
He does not lose jobs, get locked up or stay out all night in the bars.
He does not chase other women, tell me I am ugly or engage in much of the other insanely destructive and hurtful behavior of alcoholics.
But he’s still an alcoholic.
Which means there is a cloud, a significant cloud that he casts over our household and family.
Frankly, my children are not very nice to one another.
In fact, sadly, we’re not very nice to one another as a family.
Tonight it seemed a rare (RARE!) moment was unfolding as me and all three kids sat playing and talking around the dining room table. But of course “one thing led to another” and eventually they were all going at each other and I eventually lose it.
All this without my husband even present!
I told them,
“We suck as a family!”
And it’s true.
To further the point, my husband came up and told me I had “lost my fucking mind.”
I told him that right there was 50% of the problem.
It comes from the top down.
And so while the bills are paid, his job is stable, he’s home every night and and there is no physical abuse, ghosts of other women or a record of DUI’s hanging around…
He’s still an alcoholic.
And that never does a family good.